Project Runway Season 9 Episode 4 RECAP!

Let me tell you what, I am PUMPED for this episode. Over the past nine seasons the designers have worked for many a wonderful ladies, but never one with as sharp a tongue. Oh, Nina! I love what she wears, I mostly agree with her, and she never minces words. I would love to see what her closet looks like...I wonder what perfume she wears....I wonder what mascara she uses..... I could fangirl out on her style all day long. So, let the Nina challenge begin!

The designers are getting ready for their meeting at Parsons. Everyone seems pumped and ready to design. Bryce is ready to "bring it". Hey Bert, what do you think the next challenge is going to be?

"Something horrible"

Yes! That is exactly the attitude we were looking for.  Way to use the power of positive thinking! Off to Parsons where we meet Heidi and she tells us what we already know. I am in love with the dress Heidi is wearing and I wish I could wear it to an event I have to go to on Saturday night. Seeing as how I am not a supermodel nor am I a reality show host that dream with remain a dream.

Stun-ning like-woah.

Nina explains she is going to be veeeeeeeery tough on the designs. We would expect nothing less of her.  We know from previous seasons that Nina doesn't respond well to excuses. She doesn't dish it without having just cause. She isn't mean to just be mean. She has high expectations because she knows you can do it. I really think she went into this season expecting all of these designers to dazzle her. But we know better. Becky for one is totally. freaking. out. 

She is going to have a meltdown. 

So Nina needs an outfit. She needs a magic outfit that can go from daytime office wear to nighttime black tie gala,  and that will call her a ride home and then turn into pajamas. No but really day to night. What does Nina look for in a garment? So glad you asked;

              

• Classic with an edge
• Streamlined, clean, tailored silhouettes
• Does not like voluminous clothes
• Does not like lots of pleats
• Does not like loud patterns
• .....or colors

 This is what popped into my head when reading this list

Classic with an edge

First on the list of prizes is bragging rights. They already made it onto National TV, is this really a prize? The outfit is also going to be featured in a Marie Claire taxi cab ad, and later we find out an editorial. You and I both know that it is going to be a special "adver-torial" where they plug the show in a special marketing section that nobody ever reads. It is painfully obvious that those layouts are not done by the art department at Marie Claire but instead by the minions at Lifetime. You think that they would get hip to this already. 

"The taxi cab is THE symbol of New York"

-Anya

So logically Anya thinks that because taxis are somehow iconic in New York that there is no better way to market yourself than on the top of a cab. Don't strip clubs also advertise on the top of cabs?  Every episode she gives the production team these gems about the prizes. I think this will get her a long way in this competition, if not just for the sound bytes. 

The designers will be sketching and then Nina will have a consultation with each before they go shopping. Lucky for them. Everyone should do really well this challenge. Nina will not be made the fool in some crazy  jump suit and knows better than to let these guys go shopping without a consultation. 

Heidi gives the side eye of her life and we are off to the work room

ooooh burn! 

Oh, Bryce. 

Right off the bat, Bryce runs into the arms of a cowl neck. I have watched this show since the first season and I would hope that anyone that even auditions for Project Runway would make it their business to watch every season before hand. You have eight seasons to get to know these judges. I hate cowls, Nina hates cowls. WTF would you go there? He also wants to do a shift dress which is basically a shapeless sack. I personally love them but Nina wants tailored silhouettes. This had better not be a stilt situation all over again.

Random observation: Anya's arm looks like the bracelet bar at Madewell

Totally hip, totally love it.

She is also worried that because she uses pattern and color (and bears oh my!) that her style won't translate to something Nina would appreciate. Nina has mostly loved what she has made so far so I'm confident that she will pull through. The fact that she recognizes that and knows that she needs to interpret her style into something for a client is smart. That is where Bryce falls short. He only thinks in terms of what he wants (or what he is technically capable of), not what his client wants. 

Julie has visions of a simple and clean coat dress because she likes them. Looks like she didn't listen either. But hey she did get a totally sweet haircut from Falleen so she is already a winner! 

I think the sketch will be 10 million times more amazing than the actual product. She will probably be able to sell Nina on this idea and then fall very short on the execution. 

So at the consultations........ Nina is wearing a FABULOUS blouse. I want to put it on me. 

Anya is going to do a jumpsuit. That is kind of her vibe but I could see Nina digging it too. Nina asks if it is going to put a strain on her talents and Anya gives us a blank stare. 

I really like Viktors sketch. It does look a little like the birdseed dress, but without the birdseed.

Bryce:

"I hate cowel"

-duh

Nina asks Brows if he has a plan B. He makes this face and tells her no 

but he could pick one up at Walgreens. Har! No but really don't make Nina a brown dress. Seriously.

Nina also likes the idea of the dress coat from Julie because it will be nice and clean. Now lets all watch Julie make the messiest, most fall-apart-y coat of all time.

Lets take a minute and look at Nina's awesome blouse.

That blouse is a gem.

I like the sketch Kimberly presented very much. She has been known for pants this season and wants to switch it up by doing a dress and introducing the elements of fashion she loves. Smart thinking. Always keep the judges guessing.

Enter Nina, dream killer who wants pants. She wants them for breakfast lunch and dinner and she wants Kimberly to make them for her. 

Cecilia's sketch belongs on the Forever 21 sale rack. I predict that is where it will end up. 

She also wants this jacket with that dress which reminds me of that one scene in Beaches

"I was the ringleader!"  I love that movie.  

So everyone has their feedback and is off to mood. Becky totally ganks Anthony Ryan's fabric. You and I both know that this awesome print wasn't her idea. Anya has the idea to turn Nina into Mean Mrs. Mustard and is going to totally wash out her complexion. Cecilia has a meltdown over her expensive fabrics. I do really like where Danielle is going with that kelly green fabric. That will look glorious on Nina. Let us hope she doesn't make a Jane Fonda circa 9 to 5 blouse with it. 

Back at the workroom the fabric Cecilia chose turns grey instead of purple. Cecilia, you in danger girl. Nina and Tim enter the work room for an update and some mid challenge dream crushing. Danielle is first. She stayed close to her sketch. Which is to say she only stayed close to half of it. 

"What I like about this sketch is that it is hard and soft....this is just soft and soft"

Danielle says its not pressed yet, and asks about three different options. Nina gives them all a firm no. Danielle remains confident and is going to finish the challenge on a healthy dose of false hope. 

Anya needs a plan B. Nina isn't down with a mustard jumpsuit. Lets be honest about this, nobody is down with a mustard jumpsuit. She wants a plan B and she wants it now. Anya decides to dye the fabric. 

How on earth is Anya going to finish this? That here is the biggest conflict of the show so far. In a design competition you are judged on your skills and your skills alone. Seeking outside help while making your finale collection is illegal. Why isn't that the case during the challenges? In season 5 Keith Michael was disqualified for having men's wear pattern making books in his room. He held a day job as a men's wear designer and there were no men's wear challenges that season and still he was a'ufed. This season Anya has two different designers helping her sew her collection so that she can finish on time. Given that Nina (and the rest of the panel for that matter) was critical of her skills to begin with, why wasn't this an issue? 

Becky has some opinions about Kimberly's oufit, she doesn't like it. And since we know Becky is the voice of reason so obviously Kimberly is going to win. Nina is worried about it looking like a sailor costume but I disagree. I think the gold and navy is sharp. The shape she is creating is modern. Normally I'm not a huge fan of cutouts in tops but I think this works. 

How excited is Brows when he learns about the winning outfit being featured in an editorial you ask?

Kinda, maybe...just a little bit excited. 

I'm worried about Julie. I'm worried that she won't go home when she really should. She is using this circus peanut orange fabric and I just can't take it. She is gluing her outfit together. Man alive, this is a hot mess if I ever saw it. Why is everyone scrambling to help Anya and Julie is gluing her outfit together?

Off to the runway! Kerry Washington is the judge. After seeing her on red carpets for a few years we all know that she has a presence in fashion and great style. She  has thoughtful, and inspired things to say about the outfits this week. Joanna Coles from Marie Claire is also a judge and she fits the Tabitha Coffey bill but is more hilarious. 

Anthony Ryan

Like it, not in love with it. 

.

Anya

Hate it, hate that belt, hate that collar. That seam is the worst. Blech. Nina is amazed at the

transformation. Heidi loves the jumpsuit. They fawn over her abilities while I am not impressed. Anya isn't forthcoming about the fact she had help sewing this together. I'm really bothered that this wasn't an issue. 

'

Becky

I really love it and would totally wear it. Those boots are great with it too. 

Bert

This is very 5th Avenue at 5am. Chic but a little dull.

Bryce

That messy hem might get you auf'ed

Cecilia

Nope, just hope.

Joanne says this look would get you extracted from Marie Claire. This is not a day time look. It was creased just walking down a runway. Could you sit in a meeting in this dress? 

Danielle

I don't hate this, but I do think I could find it at Macy's. Her fabric wasn't as sheer as she would have liked. Michael Kors was dead on again saying that this look is very pedestrian. Nina wanted the best of what everyone is known for. This isn't it. Kerry doesn't hate it, but agrees that this isn't for Nina. Joanna says that Danielle is probably depressed because only a depressed person would wear this and I want her to be my new friend because she is hilarious. How do I get an invite to this Joan Crawford St. Patty's day party Michael mentioned? Find out and get back to me. 

Brows

This is a bit young, no? Brows thinks the front is shocking. I don't think shocking is a large grey rectangle on the front of a dress. 

Julie

The model can't even look us in the eye wearing that thing. Kerry says she doesn't understand it and is not sure where in the day it fits. Michael Kors says it is a house coat with kleenex in the pocket. Nail on head Mr. Kors. If the judges don't like your look, don't defend your taste. You will be sent home over questionable taste before you are sent home on construction. Am I the only one watching this show? 

Kimberly

Stunning! Not disco, not sailor, just awesome! The styling is great, very Nina. Can transition from day to evening very easily. Most notably Heidi said nothing would have to be changed for this to work. Joanna says this top transforms the way you feel about yourself and that she wants to wear it too. 

Laura

Great color, that hem is a bit short before the sheer fabric. 

Olivier

I think he really wants to work at Jill Sander. Great idea, but way wrinkly.

Viktor

It is nice, but a little boring. Nina thinks he did a great job and I agree. This look is actually separates. she can dress this down if she chooses for either work or an industry function. 

It was between Cecilia and Julie. And so Julie was auf'ed. Cecilia leaves the stage back to where everyone is waiting. She says to everyone that she doesn't really want to be here and feels bad because she knows Julie does. Way to be a jerk Cecilia. Laura calls her out on it and she just shrugs. Victor did take the high road and didn't tattle on Anya. He knows that her skills will sink her eventually and I admire his sportsmanship. Kimberly is the winner.  Nina looks great in it too.

This picture really doesn't do it justice, but you get the idea. Nina is wearing the outfit to a book signing and then to a cocktail party for a designer. 

The ad on the cab isn't terrible either. Nina looks great, as does the top.  Until next week friends, be safe, make good choices and beware of mustard jumpsuits! 

Project Runway Season 9 Episode 3 RECAP!

We are here at episode three of the season and still figuring out who our designers are. There are a few strong personalities (and strong eye brows) but  no real stand out stars yet.

We meet our designers as the boys are lamenting the loss of Josh. I think they are the only ones because dude needed to go. Falleen was really lucky last week. The boys doubt her commitment since she is also a hairstylist. I doubt many things but mostly whether or not she is a sane person. It has only been two episodes since the puking clown. Never forget.

"I am too much of a normal person"

- Falleen

Mmmm kay. I think the most of us would beg to differ. Maybe she is a victim of unfortunate editing? Well not unless they editing team made her the puking clown and the terrible great pumpkin dress. Anyway, we meet our designers in the studio to hear about our next challenge. So we have had a pajama challenge for resourcefulness and a pet store challenge for innovation. I would guess that we would start getting some high fashion challenges. Designers are lined up ready for Heidi to come out when...oh....

W A I T 

WHAT. THE. HELL.

So, lets talk about this for a minute. 

Heidi is on stilts (and maybe crack). She explains to our designers who really find this waaaaay too funny that they want them to think big for this challenge. All of the models will be on stilts. Lets back up. Now usually crazy challenges have a theme. For example, using recycled maid of honor dresses for girls who were made to look the fool at their best friends wedding. But this is just crazy for no good reason. They aren't designing for a circus, performance, art, nothing. The show just handed them some totally insane proportions and was like "here make us something BUTNOTACOSTUME". 

I can just tell Bert is not going to be pleased. Oh, and they have to work in teams. Heidi picks names out of a magic bag and matches teams up. And just as I expected nobody wants to be with Bert. Buck up guys! Aren't you excited about this totally ridiculous challenge that won't ever be appropriate or look good?!

Kimberly is with Becky. How does Kimberly feel about it?

That's how. 

Bryce and Falleen are paired up together. I almost feel like I can stop watching the episode right now and still know how it is going to turn out. Once all the models and death matches are made up Heidi announces some details about the show. The runway will be outdoors in front of an audience and the press. Yes lets invite more people to this train wreck. 

Becky can't wait. 

Back in the work room Papa Gunn dashes into the room like he is a mystical work room phantom that bestows wisdom onto the group. He reminds them to consider Paris Couture week and that it questions you to consider what is real. Fashion illustrations have a totally unreal shape, but for this challenge that proportion will work. Good point. Now lets watch everyone ignore it while Bert talks about Mae West some more. Tim tells the team that  they have $500.00 to work with and everyone is stoked.  And then Tim drops a bomb that they only have one day to build this hot mess. 

The teams get discussing about what to do. I'm glad Laura picked up on the Paris couture thing. I realize that it had just been said and talked about for 5 minutes but I'm thinking she is the only one who managed to absorb that gem of advice because Falleen obviously didn't

"Remember, think circus"

I kind of want to shake her. Bryce talks about how they are going to do a full skirt because their model is a ballerina. That is a great idea! You could do a black swan couture thing and it will be amazing! Dark, edgy-gothy ballerina! I'm sold, don't let me down guys.  When I say guys I mean Bryce because you and I both know that Falleen will have nothing to do with whatever they make that happens to be awesome. 

Bert and Victor are talking with their model. I should say that Victor is talking to their model because Bert is standing off to the side and quietly judging them. 

Partner says that he wants to do a Queen Victoria vibe with a large collar and some sass. The model is digging it, partner is feelin it. Cut away to Bert: 

"Queen Victoria was in mourning for 50 years I don't think that is sexy."

I laughed out loud, all alone in my apartment watching this. Victor is explaining that he would like the models boobs pushed up in a certain way like in a certain style and Bert pees in his Cheerios telling him its not such and such but its such and such style. Cut away to Bert telling us that Victor needs to do some book reading. I need to do some book reading too. Maybe Bert could read the book I'm going to write which is called DUDE CALM YOURSELF: A GUIDE TO NOT BEING LAME.

Lets check in at Mood with our eyebrow situation.

Oh my. 

I would be making that face too if my partner was talking about making a kimono. Brows talks her off a cliff and then asks her if she specializes in couture. He literally had to bite his tongue. I think they should only run that if it shows him actually biting his tongue. But then that would mean he had to know what literally meant and that could take all day. 

The face that unfortunate questions about pleats get. Not literally biting his tongue but literally wearing the jacket of a crazy person.

And for the record, anything in life can be pleated. Noted. 

The drama is all the drama you would expect. Bert and Victor are locking horns (or nails) over the design. I would be flipping my lid if my partner grabbed that terrible iridescent fabric to go with a brocade print. Neither of them should have been picked in the first place but, what are you gonna do. 

Couldn't resist.

Team Brows are going to do some sort of bull fighter. I do question the choices in fabric they made but it could be fantastic. Laura and Anthony are doing a very red gown that looks very McQueen to me. Everyone else is boring and so we are moving on. The styling gets a little ridiculous. The bull fighting a little on the terrible side. Maybe it will look better on the runway?

Maybe not.

AAAAHH! 

Joshua & Julie

This is actually pretty fantastic. It looks very editorial and chic. I really want that feather shoulder thing. 

Anthony Ryan & Laura

Boring.

Anya & Olivier

Insane. 

Becky & Kimberly

It is just, bad. 

Bert & Victor

Not finished. 

Falleen & Bryce

That hair is on another level. I know they didn't like it either but man alive it is terrible. 

Cecilia & Danielle

I know it was a really hard challenge. It really says nothing about the talent of the designers to make wearable clothes. I would feel bad for anyone who got sent home over this. Well, except Falleen because she didn't make a damn thing except for that headband.  The red number won the challenge and rightly so. I would wear that in a heartbeat. It had beautiful movement. The pants Cecilia made were actually beautiful. Nina was crazy for the blouse but I think it looks ridiculous. In the end Falleen went home for her ability to do anything correctly. Until next time friend, auf wiedersehen!

Kim Kardashian was also the guest judge but since I feel about her the same way I feel about Bert & Victors outfit we will just leave it at that.