We meet our designers as the boys are lamenting the loss of Josh. I think they are the only ones because dude needed to go. Falleen was really lucky last week. The boys doubt her commitment since she is also a hairstylist. I doubt many things but mostly whether or not she is a sane person. It has only been two episodes since the puking clown. Never forget.
"I am too much of a normal person"
- Falleen
Mmmm kay. I think the most of us would beg to differ. Maybe she is a victim of unfortunate editing? Well not unless they editing team made her the puking clown and the terrible great pumpkin dress. Anyway, we meet our designers in the studio to hear about our next challenge. So we have had a pajama challenge for resourcefulness and a pet store challenge for innovation. I would guess that we would start getting some high fashion challenges. Designers are lined up ready for Heidi to come out when...oh....
W A I T
WHAT. THE. HELL.
So, lets talk about this for a minute.
Heidi is on stilts (and maybe crack). She explains to our designers who really find this waaaaay too funny that they want them to think big for this challenge. All of the models will be on stilts. Lets back up. Now usually crazy challenges have a theme. For example, using recycled maid of honor dresses for girls who were made to look the fool at their best friends wedding. But this is just crazy for no good reason. They aren't designing for a circus, performance, art, nothing. The show just handed them some totally insane proportions and was like "here make us something BUTNOTACOSTUME".
I can just tell Bert is not going to be pleased. Oh, and they have to work in teams. Heidi picks names out of a magic bag and matches teams up. And just as I expected nobody wants to be with Bert. Buck up guys! Aren't you excited about this totally ridiculous challenge that won't ever be appropriate or look good?!
Kimberly is with Becky. How does Kimberly feel about it?
That's how.
Bryce and Falleen are paired up together. I almost feel like I can stop watching the episode right now and still know how it is going to turn out. Once all the models and death matches are made up Heidi announces some details about the show. The runway will be outdoors in front of an audience and the press. Yes lets invite more people to this train wreck.
Becky can't wait.
Back in the work room Papa Gunn dashes into the room like he is a mystical work room phantom that bestows wisdom onto the group. He reminds them to consider Paris Couture week and that it questions you to consider what is real. Fashion illustrations have a totally unreal shape, but for this challenge that proportion will work. Good point. Now lets watch everyone ignore it while Bert talks about Mae West some more. Tim tells the team that they have $500.00 to work with and everyone is stoked. And then Tim drops a bomb that they only have one day to build this hot mess.
The teams get discussing about what to do. I'm glad Laura picked up on the Paris couture thing. I realize that it had just been said and talked about for 5 minutes but I'm thinking she is the only one who managed to absorb that gem of advice because Falleen obviously didn't
"Remember, think circus"
I kind of want to shake her. Bryce talks about how they are going to do a full skirt because their model is a ballerina. That is a great idea! You could do a black swan couture thing and it will be amazing! Dark, edgy-gothy ballerina! I'm sold, don't let me down guys. When I say guys I mean Bryce because you and I both know that Falleen will have nothing to do with whatever they make that happens to be awesome.
Bert and Victor are talking with their model. I should say that Victor is talking to their model because Bert is standing off to the side and quietly judging them.
Partner says that he wants to do a Queen Victoria vibe with a large collar and some sass. The model is digging it, partner is feelin it. Cut away to Bert:
"Queen Victoria was in mourning for 50 years I don't think that is sexy."
I laughed out loud, all alone in my apartment watching this. Victor is explaining that he would like the models boobs pushed up in a certain way like in a certain style and Bert pees in his Cheerios telling him its not such and such but its such and such style. Cut away to Bert telling us that Victor needs to do some book reading. I need to do some book reading too. Maybe Bert could read the book I'm going to write which is called DUDE CALM YOURSELF: A GUIDE TO NOT BEING LAME.
Lets check in at Mood with our eyebrow situation.
Oh my.
I would be making that face too if my partner was talking about making a kimono. Brows talks her off a cliff and then asks her if she specializes in couture. He literally had to bite his tongue. I think they should only run that if it shows him actually biting his tongue. But then that would mean he had to know what literally meant and that could take all day.
The face that unfortunate questions about pleats get. Not literally biting his tongue but literally wearing the jacket of a crazy person.
And for the record, anything in life can be pleated. Noted.
The drama is all the drama you would expect. Bert and Victor are locking horns (or nails) over the design. I would be flipping my lid if my partner grabbed that terrible iridescent fabric to go with a brocade print. Neither of them should have been picked in the first place but, what are you gonna do.
Couldn't resist.
Team Brows are going to do some sort of bull fighter. I do question the choices in fabric they made but it could be fantastic. Laura and Anthony are doing a very red gown that looks very McQueen to me. Everyone else is boring and so we are moving on. The styling gets a little ridiculous. The bull fighting a little on the terrible side. Maybe it will look better on the runway?
Maybe not.
AAAAHH!
Joshua & Julie
This is actually pretty fantastic. It looks very editorial and chic. I really want that feather shoulder thing.
Anthony Ryan & Laura
Boring.
Anya & Olivier
Insane.
Becky & Kimberly
It is just, bad.
Bert & Victor
Not finished.
Falleen & Bryce
That hair is on another level. I know they didn't like it either but man alive it is terrible.
Cecilia & Danielle
I know it was a really hard challenge. It really says nothing about the talent of the designers to make wearable clothes. I would feel bad for anyone who got sent home over this. Well, except Falleen because she didn't make a damn thing except for that headband. The red number won the challenge and rightly so. I would wear that in a heartbeat. It had beautiful movement. The pants Cecilia made were actually beautiful. Nina was crazy for the blouse but I think it looks ridiculous. In the end Falleen went home for her ability to do anything correctly. Until next time friend, auf wiedersehen!
Kim Kardashian was also the guest judge but since I feel about her the same way I feel about Bert & Victors outfit we will just leave it at that.
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