Cutie - Patootie!
We have some sort of athletic challenge at hand. Bert can't seem to grasp what is even going on. Maybe he just hasn't had his coffee yet?
We see that each designer has a tee shirt, shorts and a pair of sneakers waiting for them when they wake up. Its like the Santa Claus of gym wear has visited them overnight. Over at the girls place they are digging into the situation and figuring out this mess.
Debbie Downer sits in bed while Becky and the girls examine the goods. Oh, I see.... it is a New Balance challenge. Doesn't Heidi have a New Balance line? Wasn't this also a challenge last season? So do we think that Heidi has a clause in her contract for corporate sponsorship or does Lifetime just not care about looking the fool?
Cecilia says she is so angry, she doesn't want to get out of bed. Why is she angry? That she is still there and Julie went home! Cecilia, clearly not the queen of logic and reason. But again this is the show where Mondo was runner up so hey, anything is possible!
Kimberly speculates that they are wearing these get ups because they are going to be designing for women who have lost weight. That is a terrific idea! In fact, I think they have even done it before on this show. But me thinks its going to have less to do with weight loss and more to do with promoting Heidi's line with New Balance. Nice try Kimberly.
Here we are
Yes Tim, tell us why we are here. Four teams of three, each team will have a captain. Who is excited?
I can't seem to get one picture of Cecilia not looking like she is going to jump ship. Cutie-Patootie is looking a lot like Brad from the Rachel Zoe project, just sayin. Everyone is pretty adamant about not wanting to work with Bert. Cutie, Viktor, Cecilia (I'm just speculating based on her expression but its pretty obvs) all are on the anti Bert train. But its cool because Bert doesn't want to hang with them anyway.
Oh but wait, Cecelia wants out. The best part is that she says she did her best to get out YESTERDAY. She doesn't want to just quit, because quiting is for quitters and nobody wants a quitter. Its not a question of skill, she just hates this. Shes not worried about the challenges, she just doesn't want to do it. I call poor sport. She can't hack it. Nobody would deliberately humiliate (....excluding all participants on reality dating shows and any VH1 reality show) themselves on TV. She is trying to save face and I'm not buying it. She wants us to believe she tried to sabotage herself yesterday so she could go home? Wow that sounds really fair. Especially to Julie. So Cecilia is leaves the show. Moving on.
How are they going to pick the team leaders you ask? A RACE TO THE DEATH!!!!!
No but really, just a race to the death of Olivier. Because he didn't make it.
This is why the Internet is a cruel, cruel place. If you fall down on camera you can count on it never disappearing from your life. Olivier would have liked to be a team leader but he fell down like a bitch. His words not mine! An entire triage team was brought in for Oliviers bruised knee.
You and both know that the producers were like CALL IN THE MEDS. What a way to introduce our first commercial break! Gotta sell that add space. Oh and can you make sure you get his blood pressure? Can you make him lay down for that? Aaaaaand cut!
Moving on, who are our team captains??
Brows, Bryce, Anthony Ryan and Viktor. Well, Bert has a 50/50 shot of getting on a team with at least one person who openly despises him.
Team Brows: Anya and Becky
Bryce: Kimberly and Danielle
Anthony Ryan: Laura and Bert (omg)
Viktor: Olivier and mystery guest!
Because Cecelia flew the coop Viktor gets to choose a fallen cast mate to return! How exciting! Julie is coming back right? It makes the most sense because she was eliminated last? You guys will make sure Falleen stays put right? What? Josh B.? The Mormon banker? You guys want the dude who was in the bottom for the only two episodes he was on? Greeeeeat.
So the task is to create a three piece collection for New Balance, the twist being it doesn't have to be athletic wear. The twist being that it doesn't have to have anything to do with New Balance because the only reason this episode is happening is so they can have their logo flashed and brand name said at least 15 times. They also have to use the materials in Heidi's shoes as inspiration, denim, suede or both. Go, be brilliant! The winning look will be sold on Amazon as a part of Heidi's line. I hope these guys know New Balance is using them as cheap labor.
The teams are formed and discussing what to do about this challenge. Becky is excited because this is her forte. She regularly designs between athletic and sports wear. She wants to do a cute look with leggings and blaa blaa. Oh wait, Brows has issue with that.
Becky gets the side eye from Brows, no leggings. They are over, they are, like, so over.
Brows shares with us (while making this face) that he chose Becky to be a slave to the sewing machine and not really design anything. This from a dude who is wearing a vest with a tank top.
I need to start a tally. This is the third episode in a row where this guy is talking about hoods and cowl necks. This time he is adding a ridiculous dolmen sleeve into the mix. Barf. You want to lead and show good ideas? I. don't. believe. you.
The teams are off to mood with 300 bones. Brows is very bossy and I'm not feeling it. His cattiness was funny when it was fun, now he is turning into a bully and its not cute. Tim declares himself a nag and we are back at the work room.
Becky is being ignored while Josh and Anya run the show. Brows wants Becky to be sewing and putting together the garments, not designing. Well, I hope if this ship sinks she throws him under the bus because she will have nothing to do with this thing if it is a hot mess.
Meanwhile over at team Anthony Ryan peeps are complaining about Bert. Bert tells us that it takes him a long time to remember peoples names because some are worth remember and some aren't. Way to make friends dude.
Heidi and Tim creep in for an update first up is team Bryce:
You are right on Bryce, you just got your ass handed to you. You spent hours getting that cowl just right. You know that Nina hates them, we hate them and Heidi hates them. Those shorts are really ridiculous. Time to rework this.
Team Vicktor:
This happened. I liked the leather jacket they had, but this outfit was straight out of farmin country.
Team Anthony Ryan:
Heidi says "badonkadonk". That is all you really need to know. That and they have to scrap the entire collection because it is way dressy.
Team Brows:
Heidi seems to know that Becky isn't designing. Tim calls it, Becky is being trivialized. They only have two hours to go and are so behind. They are given extra time, all the way into 1am. And they need it.
Becky needs to make a top to an outfit and Brows SNAPS at her telling her she makes dowdy clothes. OOH no he didn't! She storms out. Brows says her demographic is from 40 to death. Dude, so harsh!
So Becky cries. Poor Becky. Brows comes and apologize to Becky. He says some good things, he knows he was harsh. But I wouldn't put it past him to pull that again.
I will say this, on team Anthony Ryan....I like Bert's look. These two young kids are openly saying that if they fail that Bert is getting a'ufed. But I'm not sure that will be the case. Bert tells Brows to drop dead....Brows reminds Bert that he is much closer to death than he. Touche!
Our guest judge is Erin Wasson. I've seen her in magazines but have never heard her speak. Lets see if she has anything interesting to say.
Anthony Ryan
This is not going to be good. I hope he doesn't get sent home.
Anya
This is really cute. It would look better with a sandal than a sneaker. This was Heidi's fave look from this collection and I agree. It also has that same, signature back that Anya does every. single. episode.
Becky
Oh man. I'm sorry Becky. You really got short changed on this challenge.
Bert
This is actually one of the best looks of the night. The skirt is a bit shorter than I would personally wore. I don't care for the fabrics together. But It is far from terrible.
Bryce
This looks like a doormat stapled to her body. Michael Kors loves this dress, me not so much.
Danielle
Another sad drippy blouse from Danielle. So Blaaa and looks terrible with sneakers.
Joshua
I don't like the top but the pants are kind of sharp.
Brows
I could see brows wearing this. Only he would dress a model in a tank top and vest.
Kimberly
Kimberly is quite the front runner. I do love the jacket and I think the shorts are chic.
Laura
I stand corrected. Laura would also put a model in a tank top and vest. Not the best look.
Olivier
This does look editorial and expensive, but not really a look that would go with sneakers. This needs a boot or something with a heel.
Viktor
Love this look, the jacket looks really expensive too.
I really can't get over the judges discussion with Bert and Anthony Ryan. I know they had problems, and that the collection was overly dressy and not appropriate. But when the judges are critiquing Anthony Ryan Bert just out right laughs, points, and really enjoys it.
Does he not realize that this is going to be on TV and people will see him acting like an jerk? It is such poor sportsmanship and just a really ugly side to his personality. Bert invented a new word that nobody ever needs to use again, "camel butt". I hope we don't see any of that at fashion week. Bert's look saved the day, but it wasn't appropriate. Anthony Ryan hasn't been this pissed since he got cancer. Yeah I might be that mad too if I had been hanging out with Bert nonstop for the past two days. What a mess!
In the end Danielle was sent home over her mousy blouse. Viktor is the winner! Oh wait....Brows....you are ALSO the winner. Meh, Viktor is the winner in my heart and soul and Brows is the fake winner and will forever be the dude who Becky made cry.
Thanks for reading friends, until next time!
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